Soooooo… it turns out they don’t tell you everything about pregnancy and all the ‘stuff’ after you deliver. Yes there are many books about it but not every detail is described for a few reasons; one being that pregnancies are not identical, and I’m guessing other moms simply don’t want to share their negative experiences to prevent anticipation of negative events or may simply want to conceal those things.
I actually wrote this story three times already but it somehow got deleted unintentionally THREE times. Perhaps the universe wants me to keep it a secret…I think to myself but another serious thought is…I’m terrible at backing up my data especially after becoming a mom. Well, here I am writing it again while my (now) toddler tries to climb on top of me because he’s pretending I’m a tree. I actually appreciate these moments so much compared to the first few months when he would be nursing, and fell into a deep sleep that freaked me out, where I would be thinking he suddenly stopped breathing. Yep, I love the toddler stage much more thank you very much.
Summers in Florida are sweltering; while you’re pregnant i.e. Other than that it can be described as the sunshine state you get your sun-kissed tan from. Well I’m already tanned so there’s that and well it’s the last thing on your mind when you’re 160lbs with a human in you for the first time ever. My pregnancy had been steadily healthy except for one instance where I blacked out due to being dehydrated.
To this day I am still amazed by the fact that I birthed a human being which makes my memory foggy about all the discomfort, pain, and even the scary blacking out moment. I mean…yes women have done this for billions of years but there is nothing like the feeling you experience after the birth of your baby, nothing! All the stages that come after keep your mind significantly occupied as well so there is hardly any room for remembering all the other stuff, but I will try my hardest because I know how helpful it would be to a new mom who is absolutely clueless.
So I’ve gathered the pictures, mementos and all the sensory cues from that day in an attempt to aide in jogging my memory. On this day, I remember feeling unusually calm and collected. It was fittingly a warm day on September 17th, 2019. My birth plan which was written and included pictures would be tossed out of my hospital bag (luggage – let’s be real) in twenty-four hours and I was prepared for that.
The induction medication did absolutely nothing to my body, not even a centimeter. Baby boy was just very comfortable, snuggled in his mama’s tummy at 41 weeks and perhaps all the organic food his chef grandma fed me just kept him contented in there. I chalk it up to that anyways. Then that moment arrived; my OB came into the room for the ‘talk’ after trying three different induction medications. Famished beyond control I said, “let’s just do this, I know you will do a great job.” A little encouragement for doc to do a superlative job in delivering my unborn little soul as if I didn’t bribe her enough with a medley of hand-selected wine from Spain.
Going into the surgery room (alone because family/friends are not allowed) was a scary moment for me. I prayed/begged at that moment if I experienced any complications or passed away (yes my mind was thinking the worse!) for God to allow my baby to live a lifetime of happiness and contentment. I remember holding the nurse’s hands ever so tightly as the needle was being injected into my back. I’m sure she was probably used to that but for me, I was thinking she’s possibly the last person I’ll see before anything major happens.
Then I realized I made it to the surgery table which looked exactly like what I’d seen in all of those hospital shows. I was so numb that all I could feel was a lot of pressure and pulling but no pain and that was actually a very neat feeling; knowing that a human being (my baby!) was being extracted from my body and I couldn’t even feel a pinch.
Finally, after an acute thirty minutes of anxiety, it was the most beautiful sound I’d ever heard in my entire life…the sound of my baby crying. It was as though he sang a song with a repetitive chorus singing “mama I’m here” and it did something so special to my heart at that moment. From then on, I just knew that our lives together would forever be melodious with song and laughter.